I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
wow bdsm is so cute
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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