Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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