i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
