Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
