she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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