eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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