i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
