i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Drunk is not a location!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
