ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
