wakey wakey hands off snakey
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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