that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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