You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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