roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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