Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
another moral hangover. fuck.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm too high and old for this...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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