We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
