thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize