I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we made out on top of his cat.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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