Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
