look no pants
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
