hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
