awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
