I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
