Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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