At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
