I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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