what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
