There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
