She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
