the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
