Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
