oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
