oh god the rape fog is back!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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