Having a random hookup so left but love u
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
