My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
