Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
