I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
