Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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