well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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