That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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