You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
