I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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