i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
