So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
