I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
