Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just tell him i said nine months
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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