I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
