He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
