He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize