Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
