Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
