i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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