I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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