You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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