On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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