I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
