dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
