I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize