first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
