I must be too annoying 4 u.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize