i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
