the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize